I will die if light touches me.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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