I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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