I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
