sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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