It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you didnt know i had herpes?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
