Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
