it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
