okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
