ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
