How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
