I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
vagina is talking i cant
We are two peas in an std pod
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
