Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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