what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
