someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
