My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
