She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
