i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
