Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
