Please, let me fuck your mom
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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