Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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