She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
