What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
