she told me i tasted like america
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
