i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
