Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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