Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
