life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
