having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
