Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
