anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
