it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
