is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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