I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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