I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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