I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
where are my eyebrows?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
