At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You dont lie about slip and slides
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
