Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
