Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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