Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i drank out of a bidet.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
