I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
