So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
