Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
