Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
