Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
