You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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