Just mADE A PArabola og urine
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
