Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Drunk is not a location!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
