Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
