i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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