Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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