I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
