i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
